Sunday, February 16, 2014

I'm Already Dead...

Becky was sitting at a table with other residents who have very late stage dementia and are mostly non-verbal. I quietly asked the staff if she wouldn't enjoy sitting at a table with someone she could talk to. The aide said "she needs to be fed now." Becky overheard us and said "they think I'm already dead." This nearly broke my heart. What must be going on in her mind if she believes we all "think she's dead"? I assured her that I don't think she's dead and I am glad she is still here. Her face brightened as I talked to her. The glow came back to her eyes. She told me she loved me.  I am not sure why she needs to be fed...I think we need to look deeper at the true issues here.

How sad that we negate their very being when people have dementia. I can only begin to imagine how it feels when you don't matter to people anymore. Becky is such an elegant lady and enjoys people so much. How can we no longer see her as a person? She still converses well...initiates conversation...and has a warm smile with a twinkle in her eyes. If staff treats her this way, how do they feel about the others...the ones who don't speak....the ones in the Geri-chairs....the ones with no family to notice? How we treat the "least" of us really shows our true colors.

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