Through Their Eyes

Have you ever seen the fear in their eyes? Or maybe today it is just that confused look in their eyes. I was chatting with a friend today when I was reminded of what drew me to dementia care in the first place.

I can't explain it until I tell my own story. I have had anxiety disorder and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. There have been some pretty rough times, and I was even home bound with agoraphobia at one time. But those days are long gone, although I still have panic attacks at times and still have anxiety, it no longer consumes me. I used to ask "why me."  I just wanted to be normal! 

Then my world changed when I began to work in long term care. After a couple of years I was asked to work on our memory care neighborhood. I tried everything under the sun to get out of taking that job. The very thought of being behind locked doors scared me to death. I couldn't do this...there was no way! Well I went anyway. 

I had 32 residents to provide with activities and social services. They were at all different stages of dementia. What was I going to do? Then a magic thing happened. I was able to see the fear in their eyes....I could feel how frightened they were. I saw them change when someone reached out to them and really connected with them. I saw that they loved to laugh, sing and dance! I saw that they accepted you just as you are...with no judgements and no expectations! I loved each and every one of my 32 residents. They filled my heart with joy every single day. I no longer asked "why me" because now I knew. My life journey brought me there so I could see and feel their fear. My anxiety was my gift...it opened up a world I didn't even know existed!